I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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