I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another