I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween