My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
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The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
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You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.