So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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