i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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