If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
