i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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