It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
