Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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