how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
