Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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