i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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