it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
