I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
