I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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