If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
