how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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