we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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