I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
