Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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