i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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