batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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