is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Randomize