Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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