my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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