whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
