Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
