well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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