In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
