Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You took a bar mat shot.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
