Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
