She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
