I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
