Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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