You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
