My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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