i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
