Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
