oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
