The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
We need a shit load of segways right now
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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