And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
