Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he laminated a picture of his dick.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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