am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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