Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
