Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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