Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
