I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
