oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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