nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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