She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
