It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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