i will never coherently bang her
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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