I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
ok first of all what the fuck
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
