I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
