then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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