How'd it feel making her break her religion?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
There's always time for handjobs
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
