I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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