allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
