Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
