I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
