I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I love you. Go after that dick
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
