i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
