I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
