My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
