$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
