fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
