you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
