so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
